Had my wife been alive today, she would have jumped up and clapped her hands as the Supreme Court decision was announced. She was unable to get coverage, being in a high risk group, and has she lived this would have enabled that.
I wish there were a way of turning the clock back just a few days. She need not have died. All this was preventable, by her and by me. Not permanently preventable, but delayable. I survive alone and I bear the burden alone.
Part is guilt, the fact of things unsaid and undone. So many. And in not preserving the life of my beloved, I failed her one more time. All I had to do was insist she see a doctor about her heart. That she take a glucose meter and use it. I could have done this from afar. Her phone is full of my unanswered calls and text messages.
Everywhere in my life and my environment are her footsteps. Places we were, places we walked, things we said. There is no escaping them. They are there but she is gone.
No comments:
Post a Comment